Another birthday...

I'm 4 months old today!

Mommy can't believe where the last month went. She doesn't think I've changed much since my last birthday. BUT, Aunt Katy and Grandpa Schneider visited me last week after not seeing me for a month. And they couldn't believe how big I am!

These days my little gums are sore. I drool ALL the time and just love to chew on my hands. Mommy gives me teething toys but my hands aren't quite ready to grab the toys and put them in my mouth, so right now my hands have to do--or sometimes my shirt; that's easy to grab and shove in my mouth! I'm usually soaking wet!

I love day care! I have many friends there. I love to watch the big kids play and I spend a lot of time with my buddy Thomas. We both hate tummy time. Mommy hears that we both scream when we're down on our tummies, even when we're facing each other. There's just WAY too much going on and we don't want to miss anything!

Yesterday was VERY exciting because I sat in my exersaucer for the first time! I'm still pretty teeny for it, but Mommy put a blanket behind me and Daddy put a stack of books under my feet :) There's a LOT going on, it's like a baby casino!

I'm putting up a bit of a fight with my crib. I LOVE sleeping in my comfy Little Lamb swing, but the other day Mommy put me in my crib. I fell asleep in it on my own, but I hate it! I've only made it one full night. Oh yeah...that's my funny little joke on Mommy. I no longer sleep through the night, mwa-ha-ha!!! Mommy can count on stumbling sleepily into the room around 2:30. It's my poor little gummies.

It's a big week for me--tomorrow I go to my 4 month checkup and find out how much I weigh! Then this weekend I get to visit my cousins and both of my grandparents! I will also meet some baby friends!

Life just keeps getting more and more fun!

This morning as I eased my car up the pot-holed under-construction main drag, in a dreary chilly drizzle more appropriate for November than May, my brain still reeling from the usual pre-work chaos, I felt exhausted and sad.

Most work days are just fine. I truly enjoy "sharing" Elizabeth with her day care...I can't quite explain it. And work is going well, too. But today seemed endless. I was itchy to go home and unfortunately had an assessment scheduled for the end of the day, and it ended up being delayed by about an hour so I didn't get to Elizabeth until almost 5:00.

Post-bedtimes are always the craziest times of the day, sometimes more so than the mornings. Every night I wash the bottles I pumped into during the day, and usually the rest of the dishes are waiting for me too. (Despite how exhausted I might be, I always do the dishes and clean up the kitchen each night, to maintain some pocket of sanity in the house.) I make her bottles and our lunches for the next day. Sometimes there's laundry to fold or put away. At times I pump one more time before I go to bed, too.

And what's getting lost in the chaos of the days? Exercise, and more seriously, sleep. Here I am right now, in fact, at 10:15 PM, totally beat but trying to eek out just a little alone time to keep up with this blog when I should have made myself get to bed a half hour ago.

Will I ever get our disastrous home office in order? Or our basement? How about my hobbies, writing and scrapbooking?

I keep thinking about the story in the Bible, about Jesus feeding the 5,000 starving people with two fish and five loaves of bread. By the grace of God, the resources were stretched to provide. God's grace is providing for me, too, in that I haven't yet lost my sanity. Little gifts here and there, like if Elizabeth takes a catnap after dinner so I can clean up at 7:00 instead of at 9:30 when I'm falling over on my feet. Like earlier this week when I got home a bit early, so I ran home for 15 minutes before picking her up and got several small tasks done.

Prayer is sustaining me right now. It is so hard, but it's getting me through. My baby is happy, healthy, and safe, and for now, that is enough.

My First Mothers' Day

Today was my first Mothers' Day!

Appropriately, last night we had our first "date night" in months, unintentionally. We'd been invited to a wedding for one of Craig's co-workers. We initially considered it just a thing to do out of politeness, but it ended up giving us some really nice together-time. The reception was exceptional with the live jazz band playing Big Band music, a delicious dinner, and fabulous desserts--Craig and I sat alone at our table after our table-mates hit the dance floor, downing the beautiful chocolate-dipped fruits and just talking and laughing. Spending quality time together that we hadn't spent in a very long time. It was a wonderful pre-Mothers' Day treat I hadn't even expected.

And where was our dear daughter during our evening? She was home with Megan, our wonderful sitter who had helped me out in a pinch when E. was 5 weeks old and Craig had to go out of town for work. I'm so grateful I easily found a babysitter I trust just by asking my good friend for a reference. So I wasn't nervous about Megan coming, just nervous about the first bedtime babysitter. But, God helped me relax enough to completely enjoy my evening without worry about my daughter; I wasn't going to call but broke down at about 9 PM to see how things were going. And everything went perfectly--bottles, bedtime, and all.

We hadn't planned to do anything for Mothers' Day. Craig and I had earlier discussed that we wouldn't get each other gifts for Mothers' or Fathers' Day, just wait until E. was a little older to pick things out herself. And Craig and I have never been big card givers for each other on events, either. So, was I surprised when Craig entered the bedroom where I was making the bed, carrying our daughter who, in turn, was carrying an envelope in her own little fist! (She just started grasping things!) He told me she had something for me. I opened the envelope to find a Mothers' Day card--signed with a tiny, Elizabeth-sized purple handprint. I burst into tears. I couldn't imagine a better gift for my first Mothers' Day. My husband came up with the most thoughtful, sweet, quiet-without-fanfare gift from our baby.

And that's how the rest of the day was--quiet, simple, just us as a family. We all (dog too) took a walk, then later shared a nice dinner and just hung out in the family room the rest of the evening, playing with our baby.

I could not have asked for a better first Mothers' Day!

So how are we doing?

Hello! We are all about three weeks into the newest version of our new life--e.g., life with a baby AND two full-time working parents.

Overall, things are going so much better than I ever could have hoped. For me, going to work is great. I feel more like myself than I have since before I gave birth. Even though Elizabeth and I kept very active while on maternity leave, I'm a person that needs a pretty high level of activity to stay energized and positive.

Day care continues to go beautifully. I feel so blessed to take my daughter to a place Craig and I both feel very comfortable with. I love dropping her off at Roz' house on these fresh spring mornings, talking to Roz about how Elizabeth was the night before, seeing the older kids stream out of the living room exclaiming "Elizabeth!" or telling me that they have new shoes or ate pizza or went to the potty. Even more I love pulling up in the driveway in the afternoon, with the little day care family gathered on the front porch, Elizabeth and Thomas (her day care buddy who was born 2 days after she was) dozing in their carseats while Roz tells me about her day. Day care has become an extension of community, an extension of family.

The most challenging part about this whole new routine is managing my own time. Elizabeth and I come home and I spend as much one-on-one time with her as possible, sitting and "chatting" with each other or playing together on the floor. I've managed to get dinner on the table about two nights so far. After she gets to bed around 9:00, I spend the rest of the evening washing bottles, fixing bottles for the next day, and making our lunches. Then I inevitably stay up at least an hour past what I intended (like right now!) so I can squeeze in a blog post, a quick exercise (okay, that's hardly every happened), a small chore like folding a basket of laundry.

It's a whirlwind, and often a struggle. There are times when I wonder if I will ever have hobbies again. I feel like the only thing I've been accomplishing is getting the laundry done each week and keeping us fed. It's spring now, and my flower beds are longing to be perked up with annuals that have yet to be bought. The most elaborate meal I've made so far has been ready-made barbecue chicken sandwiches with a side of pickles and strawberries. And all around me, closets are disorganized and mail and paperwork piles up in the study.

And slowly, I'm learning that this is all okay.