"Babies don't keep"

There is a poem that I, as a baby, had on a framed crewel-work. The poem ends, "So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

I admit that I am pretty OCD regarding housework. No, my house is not a spotless, everything-in-its-place museum like Bree's from Desperate Housewives (not even close!!), but ever since I had a home of my own I've always constantly been preoccupied by what needs to get done--whether it's vacuuming, cleaning out a closet, going through bank statements, etc.

I have had to very consciously "let this go" as I have brought a baby into my world. On the one hand, I may be able to get more done than some moms, because Elizabeth is a great napper; I use this time to catch up on chores. Sometimes, though, I will be sitting on the couch nursing her, and I see the stack of papers on the table...the basket of laundry that has been waiting to be folded for two days...the dog hair on the rug...

I remind myself of the last line of that poem. "Babies don't keep." Elizabeth and I just took our first trip to Naperville to spend a few days at Grandma and Grandpa Schneider's house. When we returned, Craig commented on how much he thought she had changed in just 3 days. He noted that she seemed more alert, seemed to "notice" him when he held her and talked to her, and had better head and neck control. Last night, as he held her, he mentioned that she seemed heavier.

The changes babies go through are so amazingly subtle, and happen so quickly. Elizabeth still fits into all of her "newborn" sized outfits (except for the couple footed-sleepers that her long legs are just a bit TOO long for!), but she is growing and changing by the second...and I remember this as I look around my house and tell myself (because it doesn't come naturally at all!): "Let the housework go!!!" Even sitting down to write this blog...she is napping right now, and though two baskets of laundry are calling my name, not to mention addressing all of her birth announcements, I knew I needed to focus on this, documenting my daughter's journey. It is HARD to make myself do this, but looking at that beautiful little face that fills out more and more each day forces me!

3 Weeks Old

Hi everyone! I'm Elizabeth and I am 3 weeks old. As I get used to this life, here are some things I have discovered that I like and don't like:

Things I like:
EATING--I spend most of my waking hours doing this!
Snuggling with Mom or Dad
Swinging in my swing
Lying on my playmat and looking up at the toys
Listening to music, on my swing or Mom singing (well, Mom thinks I like hearing her sing!)
Riding in the car--conks me out every time!
Tummy time--at least I think I like this! I am able to move my head from one side to the other and hold it up for a few seconds.

Things I don't like:
Being naked--in any form, such as diaper changes, outfit changes, and especially the bath. Mom and Dad hope I still dislike being naked many years from now! ;)
Taking my vitamin drops--not sure about that taste!

Hmm, Mom and Dad are lucky, because I can't think of any more things I don't like! I'm still undecided about the dog. Right now he pretty much leaves me alone, and I hope that continues! Today he got VERY jealous of Mom while she was playing with me on my playmat. Nico laid next to me, and then went over to Mom and laid down in her lap, which Mom says he has NEVER done. He already lies on my blankets (when I'm not around, thank goodness!), which Mom does not like!

Ch-ch-changes...already!

Yesterday marked the long-awaited departure of Elizabeth's umbilical cord stump (leaving a very adorable belly button, if I do say so myself!), so today we decided to do "tummy time" for the first time. I spread a big blanket out on the floor and put her on her tummy, figuring she'd hate it and wail.

Elizabeth fooled me, however, by loving it! (Well, I guess I can't really tell if she *loved* it, but she didn't wail!) She crunched up her little body and knew to rest her head on the side. She moved those little arms and legs back and forth, trying to figure out how to do it from that position, making her little grunts of concentration. She then turned her head to rest on the other side, and then held her head up for a couple seconds at a time!

It's incredible how much (very subtly) she is changing already. She seems just a little more alert and interactive each day. I just can't wait until she can smile and laugh and interact with us, but I must not wish away the precious moments we have right now. We're getting used to having this little peanut living in our house, and we can't wait to find out what more surprises she has in store!

The "new normal"

My mom was wonderful enough to stay with us for nearly a week after Elizabeth was born (my dad and sister on a couple of those days, too). When the time came for them to depart, I was pretty scared to be suddenly and completely on my own during the days with the baby, but I confessed to my family I was ready to get back to normal. I quickly corrected myself: not necessarily "back to normal," but ready to start the "new normal."

So what is the "new normal"? Week 2 of Craig and me being completely on our own with Elizabeth is winding down, and I'm finally feeling like we might be establishing our groove. Week 1 on our own, last week, was rough. I was still restricted from the c-section from driving and even using the stairs more than once a day, so I was basically confined to the first floor and, more specifically, the family room sofa. I discovered "30 Rock" (Netflix on-demand is awesome!), which got me through the lonely days, which was good; I discovered I couldn't make myself nap during the days, no matter how tired I was, which was bad. I loved getting to know my daughter, but the week was desolate and lonely, being cooped up!

Week 2, now winding down, has been much better. On Monday my doctor cleared me to drive and use the stairs. I've watched much less TV and read more books (in between taking care of my daughter...I'm making myself sound like I retired!) and have found that keeping active during the days, rather than forcing myself to nap, lifts my spirits. The best part about the week was that I got to get out of the house with Elizabeth, on our own, for the first time. Our first errand day involved stops at the bank, Walgreens, the township office, and the library. She slept through it all. I've found that schlepping a car seat is tough, but not as tough as I'd feared, since as a school psychologist I am a schlepper by trade! :)

The "new normal" has me daring to believe that Elizabeth is establishing a bit of a routine. Sleeping, for instance: for several nights now, she's awaken once an hour two or three times, and then sleeps for a good 3 to 4 hour stretch until about 6:00 or 7:00. Her most awake times seem to be late morning and late afternoon.

Of course, the "groove" I wonder if we are setting into is bound to take twists and turns! Tonight Elizabeth will sleep in her crib in her bedroom for the first time. While I was first-floor-bound, she slept in her Pack 'n' Play next to the family room couch, where I slept; we've done that for over two weeks. But now, with the weekend in front of us, we've decided it's a good time to take the plunge and put her in her bed. I'm sure I will hear her when she needs me, but now I will have to walk into a separate room to check on her...this will be harder on me than on anyone else...so maybe "routine" is out the window again, for now!

Elizabeth's Arrival

Elizabeth was due January 29, and I hoped she would arrive a few days early--mainly because I had started my maternity leave on January 18, and I felt sort of guilty for doing so, knowing the longer Baby Girl took to arrive, the shorter amount of time I'd have on maternity leave with her actually HERE. Physically, though, I still felt great up until the end and wasn't terribly uncomfortable.

The weekend arrived--Saturday January 23--and I thought it would be a really great time for her to arrive. I had this inkling that she would be at least a week late. No problem with hoping, though, right? Saturday I tackled some errands, primarily going to Babies R Us to pick up some things using the generous gift card my co-workers had given me.

After the errands I faced an afternoon home alone, because Craig had to run down to his rental property and do a couple errands of his own. I decided to vacuum out my car, which was pretty gross after carting my dog in it earlier in the week and being congealed with salt over the winter weeks. Contorting my body to get in the corners and under the seats made my back throb, so I decided to take it easy the rest of the afternoon.

I felt restless! I tried to get some more little projects done, here and there, but had trouble concentrating. Once Craig got home we decided to make a grocery run for the following week. At home (by now it was around 9 PM) we put the groceries away and Craig, always the night owl, decided to work in his shop for a couple hours.

I will add that, for most of this day, I just had a *feeling* that something was happening sooner rather than later. And to make a long story short, once I went to bed at 11:00 I had a lot of trouble getting comfortable because my back ached so much. I figured it stemmed from my gymnastics of vacumming out my car earlier...then noted that the back pains seemed to be coming in waves. I put in a call to the doctor's answering service, mentioning the pains along with a couple other symptoms I'd been having. I was told to go to the hospital.

Craig had now been in bed for about a half hour. I took a shower and then woke him up, wishing we had gotten at least one more good night's sleep, because who knew when we would have another one?? My bag was already packed. I made sure to grab some snacks and water for the car. The dog looked very confused as we hustled out the front door sometime after midnight.

With a January due date, for months I'd bet we'd be driving to the hospital in a blinding snowstorm, but the day had been mild and the streets were dry. We made it pretty quickly, that time of night. Craig wanted to drop me off and park the car, but I didn't want him to leave me--I didn't mind waddling the extra steps if it meant I didn't have to be alone!

I will spare the specific details of the next few hours. The biggest news was that I was already 7 centimeters dilated when we got to triage, and fortunately there was enough time for an epidural! (I can't praise the epidural enough!!)

So, in the wee hours of the morning, Craig and I were hanging out in the delivery room waiting for things to happen, when he started up his laptop. He pulled up a baby name website. Yes, here we were, hours before meeting our baby girl, and we still had no name. Craig angled the laptop toward me to show me the website. In my epidural-induced happy haze, I noticed the name "Elizabeth"--which we had pretty much settled on as a middle name, in honor of Craig's grandmother--and commented that it might in fact make a nice first name. Craig agreed that he'd considered it. The conversation ended there because things started happening quickly...

Again, sparing the specific details, at around five in the morning the doctor decided that Baby Girl was not going to make her entry into the world the conventional way, due to a variety of factors. I was going to have a c-section. This information was given to me too quickly for me to mentally prepare. All I remember at this time was being told that Craig would join me in the operation room a few minutes after I arrived, and then I was wheeled away. I watched the ceiling tiles float above me and was reminded of numerous TV shows in which patients have been wheeled into operating rooms, watching the ceiling. I knew I would meet my baby within minutes but felt pretty terrified.

Prepping for the surgery was very scary, especially when my arms were splayed at my sides and strapped to the table. I don't know what I thought about as those moments passed. Suddenly, someone announced that the baby had hair. I asked for confirmation that it was indeed a girl, and a nurse laughed back that they couldn't tell yet.

And then, someone asked if I wanted a mirror placed so that I could see her coming out. I said yes! And before I knew it, I could see a tiny porcelain-colored person--and I looked at her feet. I'd laughed for the last few weeks about wanting so badly to see her feet in person, because they had stuck out of my right side, wedged among my ribs, for so long. And there they were...there she was! She wailed instantly--such a beautiful, welcome sound!

The hardest part about the c-section was that I did not get to hold her for so long. Right away she was whisked across the room and I, still strapped to the table, just had to listen to voices telling me how much she weighed (6 lbs. 2 oz.) and laughing comments about the little hat they'd put on her, affixed with a giant bow that was as big as her head. As we waited to meet our daughter, Craig and I returned to the question of the name. It literally went something like this: I said "Are you sure you're okay with Elizabeth?" "Yup." "Okay, me too." As half-hearted as that conversation sounds, after weeks of agonizing over what to name our daughter, I knew her name was perfect.

We finally got to meet our daughter, although I didn't get to hold her until I was wheeled into the recovery room. We spent the next couple of hours there, quiet and dazed and exhausted and thrilled, just the three of us and an occasional helpful nurse. Just getting to know our daughter. My labor had been relatively quick and easy, and Elizabeth had arrived safely. What more could we ask for?

First post...from our new way of life!

As a writer, I have wanted to create a blog for a long time, but have never had the courage.

The birth of our daughter on January 24, 2010, was the impetus I needed to get started! With so many of our friends and family living far away, I thought I'd call on technology to speedily keep folks up to date on the life of our daughter, Elizabeth Audrey.

Oh...the title of this blog...derives from our dog's full name. Though he's no longer our "baby," Nico (short for "Pubnico", a town in Nova Scotia where his breed hails from) is still an important part of our life, and I like to think that if I ever opened a bar (ha ha!) I'd call it Pub Nico in his honor. Clever, huh? :) So consider this Pub Nico a gathering place for the Phillips family and friends.

Here goes--hope I can keep up with this blogging as fast as my daughter grows!!